The Phantom Shitter
A warning - there’s a disgusting image in this post…
There are many stories from the past that became known throughout the final months of the White Horses but none more intriguing - and disgusting - than ‘the phantom shitter’.
The White Horses ‘oracle’ also known as Ken popped past one night to regale us with one of his classic stories about the the building. Ken tells us he’s been ‘living in the building since 1965’ as his parents owned ‘16 apartments’ at one point and at another ‘his mother was the manager’. Now I can’t confirm how true any of this is as Ken won’t go on the record but he does LOVE a pop past chat. And these chats never failed to entertain.
The highlight for me, of all of the chats, was the night we learned about the phantom shitter.
Apparently, every Easter - either late Good Friday or Early Easter Saturday - someone would terrorise the White Horses Holiday Apartments. They would shit in the walkway between A1 and A2 and into the deep end of the pool.
The deep. end. of. the. pool.
And this went on for a roughly a 10 year period from the mid eighties to mid nineties…allegedly.
Now, leaving aside the fact there’s plenty that’s impressive about this; but shitting not once, but twice in public without being caught for about a decade is top of the list.
And then Ken revealed another amazing piece of trivia. He assured us this story was 100% true because he was living at the White Horses at the time…because his mother was the manager then.
Cleaning human poop from pool - the deep end no less - on the holiest of holy days, usually when everyone, even holiday apartment managers, gets to have a rest, feels especially vindictive…
The story caused a stir and many giggles among the team. “Who on earth would shit in the pool?” “why would someone do that” and “do you think it’s even true?”
And then the poops started to appear. Early one Sunday morning, going for coffees before an interviews with the party boys in B12, I almost stepped in shit in the northern alleyway. My first thought was “man these dog owners are REALLY getting on my grill” and thought nothing of it.
A week later, in the southern alleyway, near the infamous bin bay, I came across another poop during an early morning dash to the beach.
This one did NOT look like a dog did it and its shitty owner left it behind. This couldn’t be a coincidence. Could the it be true? Could the phantom shitter be terrorising the White Horses again?
After two more alleyway poops; yes, yes they could be. And I’ve never been happier to report that no poops were discovered in the deep end of the pool.
But the mystery was never solved. Who is the phantom shitter?
